mess

The wrong feelings that always seem right and the right ones that always (always) seem wrong. It is because of this concluding statement in which my life is based on that my life is one hell of a mess right now. It is so freaking messy (messier than a kid trying to eat a plate full of red saucy spaghetti- strands of noodle hanging from the rim of the plate and all around the plate… red tomato gravy making stubborn stains all over the clean white table cloth). After explaining this I pretty much explained all I am right now and how I feel.

I was watching this movie and the girl says – “Life is a mess and that is what’s beautiful about it.” This particular line just grabs my wandering attention (I cant even concentrate while watching a movie these days) and i replay the line again and listen again so that i can memorize the line.I feel “connected” and then feel “WOW” , its OK to have a messy life! Now that i am quoting a stupid line (that often feels enlightening to me somehow) from some actor in a movie i feel pathetic. Yes! I feel how sad my life is. Every now and then people around me quotes famous important people such as Gandhi, Steve Jobs, Martin  Luther King (Oh wait, even i quote Martin; if using the line “I have a dream.” counts). Sometimes, no actually every time they quote those lines I wonder how they manage to memorize word by words and also remember the quotes just to match the context at the right time. (At the back of my head I then tell myself I will as well read few quotes).

See, this is what i was talking about. I was telling you how messy my life is then i get tangled with the quotes and important people. The spaghetti noodles must be less tangled than I am.Those creamy white strands must be easy to untangle but my messy life is so beautifully tangled that i don’t know from where do i begin to solve it. The noodley mess is easy and tasty to clean- you take a big pointy fork, shove it into the plate, twist it and then eat it! your plate is clean. But the messy life i created is so not disappearing with an ordinary metal fork; I will be needing a magical fork!!!pasta-on-fork-001

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