I kept on saying “I wasted one year of my fellowship doing nothing. I simply did nothing.”
But my first SLC batch proved me wrong. They doubted me, scared me, worried me, loved me but more – they made me.
I still remember my nervous classes in Grade ten where all those twenty faces would look at me with their pretty eyes but with pinch of doubt hidden on the corner. My tongue struggled with “biyutkramanupatik (inversely propotional)” “urdhopatan (upthrust)”, my mind got nervous with cell division, circulation, taxism and tropism, electricity, finding groups and periods and “baraf ko kati bhag pani bhitra huncha?” numeric and so much more. I was their new bigyaan miss; note nalekhaune, kantha parna lagayera nasodhney, gaali nagarney, nepali ramrari bolna naune, harek hapta jasto ktm janey miss. Few of the boys would just complain me right on my face, I had horrible dreams intimidated by those complains.
I am grateful to the girls in grade ten who looked upto me during classes with so much trust and belief (I am not saying the boys were unsupportive, they just had few doubts). Somehow village girls are pictured to be more fragile but these girls were nothing like that. They were ambitious, they were proud to be a lady even though they sometimes said “only if I were a boy I would be able to do so much with my life.” The fire in them always made me alive.
Those bunch of girls were my first friend in the new village. My leisure periods and lunch breaks would be so lonely, I would sit on the pile of blocks at the front of the office or make myself busy with a book in my hand. They would come up to me, sit by my side for a while and make small talks. At the beginning they used to complain on how I had to go KTM so often but one day she came to me and said “Miss, tuition class ko fee linu na, ma class ko haru lai ni bhanchu. Tapai kati Kathmandu janu parcha, kati kharcha huncha hola, fee linu hai.” I felt so much love when she spoke those words.
I could not be any proud today of my students. They have the courage and belief in themselves to get out of their comfort zone to pick out their own colours for the grand canvas. I asked them “K padhney SLC pachi?” they would be “khoi tha chaina.” Today, I met her. She wanted me to go to her new college to help her change faculty. She had chosen to study science but every one discouraged her to. She shifted to management. I am not disappointed that she didn’t study science but I am so proud that she even for once believed that she could.
Today, more than half of the students left village for the cities but not in search of job. They stepped into cities to study more,in search of a better future. Finally, they spread their wings. Now, it’s their time to learn how to fly and soar high in the sky.