Tag Archives: colours

Perfect imperfect

How imperfect I was and how trying to be perfect did me no good.

I still remember the pictures that I drew as I was growing up. They were nothing but imperfect. They had smudges of paints, some amended but most of them not. I didn’t care about it but only thing that mattered was that I was happy in my heart. I would run to my dad and  would show him the drawings that I had made. He always smiled that smile. He would hold it in his hand and put it far away and examine; never did he complain. “Baa:lah baa:lah” – he said.

I had picked charcoal sticks for my still life when I was may be 13 or 14, I don’t think I was good with even pencils. I knew the proportions of the shape of my subjects were right (they were blown out of proportions I guess). It didn’t make sense nor I cared where the light source was and where it fell on the object. I went with my instinct of where should I erase the blackness so as to give more realistic touch to the still life. I still remember me making still life arts like I was some awesome artist. I still remember few; there was one time where I went to roof of my aunt’s house and drew the temple standing in the courtyard, I still remember the moment when I was adding the brick tiles on the roof of the temple.Just seeing black smudges on my fingers and palms would make me feel so artisty.

I made what made me happy. I wrote about little things that mattered to me, drew things that mattered, painted colors my brushes picked. Now that I think of, I am quite not sure what made people happy- Was it my paintings and drawings that made people happy or my excitement?

So if you are wondering where all this jibberness is coming from. I just watched a TED talk and it just changed my whole life I guess(Revolution in my life you can say). It was about how the fact that we want to be perfect hinders what we want to do. For me, I like to write and paint. I used to write but I stopped it. I thought I got the writer’s block (myan, this sounds fancy I know but I wanted to use it for so long). I always hesitate to paint. I feel like I need to give people awesome piece to read or an amazing beautiful picture to see. I forget always to remember about me. The joy I feel deep in my heart like a serene calm sea with little waves slapping the shore. (Not making up but I really feel butterflies in my heart when I am painting or writing, actually I am having them right now as well while I write, with my heart beating to the groovy beats I am listening to.)

My friends and people I know through only face book enjoys what I paint and write (not boasting). They don’t judge me but its sad that I am the greatest judge of me. I don’t write often and I don’t paint much. I say “small things are big things” but did I really have faith in it? NO!!!

Guess What? I am gonna write more now and paint more. More, I am firing the judge in me. So… I hope I will write more and paint moreeeee and have all the fun my heart deserves.


Some more paints!!!

IMG_20160108_133557The wall was white, it was so white that I was being hesitant to disturb its whiteness. And like an elephant’s body it was wide, so wide I had to take many steps back to see the wholeness of the wall. That was the wall that had to be painted. I lined up all my art gears(I got enamel paints for the job and trust me I had no idea how difficult those paints could be) and pulled up my sleeves; then I held the brush, dipped it into the enamel box and with all the nervous confidence I tainted the wall with an uneven  brown stroke of the brush.IMG_20160108_173202

My hands were still and calm but my mind and heart were high on sugar I guess as they were burning up the insides. May be they were not enjoying the constant gaze of the people around judging every stroke I make. To worsen things, the enamel started dripping from places like a smeared kajol.  It was a nightmare, I tell you. I regretted for ever  nominating myself to paint the wall, I cursed my excitement then. After a while , I soaked the brush with some greens and then dabbing the wall like a child , then I added some baby greens on edges. Those green brought freshness in me and I got into my zone. This is how my art project started in school.

It all started with that white wall of ECD room and is now contaminating the hall ways, pillars, stair cases, old racks, cupboards and any other space. I have this compulsion of doing all the job; it’s like I need to get it done all by myself. This painting project taught me great lesson – to have helps.


I am so grateful to my co-fellows – Dipa and Prakash for being so supportive and painting whatever they could. Dipa had never painted before and yet is always willing to give it a shot at painting. These two people have supported me with all my crazy cravings to paint whatever my eyes spy.

My greatest achievement would be working with the students (more like they working and me just observing). Also, I got smart I guess; I learnt to work smart and not hard. Every time I was painting, the students always asked if they could and I said “No.” cause I feared that they would ruin it. After a while I let few of them help me around with the painting work and lo, everyone would just grab the resting brush and at least for once smear the colour anywhere. The help started with coloring the old cupboards in creamy hues and continued with turning the white hallway into flashy colours screaming for attention.
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May be even the god wanted our school to be colourful or may be it was just a mere coincidence. There were colours coming from everywhere. Rotaract Club of Sainbu Bhainsepati left few colours then we had the Korean team leave us with more colours. I was like Hallelujah!!! It fuelled up my work. But no matter what my favourites are always acrylics; those distemper paints are dull as foggy morning and enamel, despite being shiny, are unmanageable like a bad hair.


My favourite is the white shadow work in that neon green wall; it feels clean and clear. You should gaze at the wall during evening and you can hear the chirps of the birds, it looks so lively. As we were working on this, I got asked “you are not leaving it plain white right?” and I was “Ummm… yes I am. This is pretty much it.” I was literally yelling to everyone “THIS is supposed to be this simple. Other colours would not complement THIS GREEN.

The curves of the wall were white but all sprinkled with dust. As we had spare colours that would be damaged if not used soon, we thought about using it to turn the hallway all colourful. My energy was all low and I needed big time help. So, I asked the students to help me with it. All that it took was one simple instruction “Fill the boxes with alternate colours.” And poof! It was done in a while.





Here is the sea world which is taking me forever to complete. Every little kid would ask me what that yellow thing was and then I got tired of answering “Submarine”. So, one day I answered it was a fish and the dolphin was an aeroplane and then what the little kid did was teach that to other little kids and I laughed and said it was wrong. What she did next was, hit me in embarrassment . Other ramailo comment would be “Why is there a mushroom inside the water?”


Thank the person who made the staircase. It seems like the staircase itself volunteered to be of help by having eleven steps. Doesn’t it look pretty?


Here is the recent pillar week chart.