rainbow of emotions

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Those shrill cries…

Yes! Those shrill cries that my eyes shout

When they witness themselves bleeding tears

When they hear nothing but empty lifeless heartbeats

Pounding and thumping like they are trying to escape from the void

Sshhhhhh….

Lips make the hissing noise

Eyes keep quiet.

Only sheer silence!

Eyes get dumb, a pair of palms covering them.

Gust of wind clutches the sweet warm scent

That familiar scent pinches the heart

Heart dances pulsating with love

 

Lo! Eyes smile…

  tear glistening  in the dark !!!

shy n’ nervous

tumblr_mi6ca5Dfhy1rnb624o1_500Shy were those lips,

When they smiled listening to me blabber endlessly.

Nervous and happy were those eyes,

When they were caught by my sight!

fufu

I have one big crazy family (trust me, when I say crazy ,I really mean it).In this crazily insane family of twisted people(twisted at many places) I always kept my eldest aunt out of the list (not saying she is not part of my family but that I prefer not calling her crazy). I am writing this blog just to tell you a short story of my aunt,whom I had thought to be the most sojhi (innocent) soul of the family but the story my other aunts shared took me by surprise. Well I guess the saying “napatyauney khola le bagaucha” is super true.

We have to get into time travelling machine and travel may be some 50 years back, when my aunt was just in her teens. Before beginning the story, let me give you a brief intro about her; she is real quite and gentle ,really sweet natured lady and
“atti nai sojhi”. Whenever I asked her how she met Uncle (her husband), she used to just give us a bright smile and nothing more. But oneday I insisted my other aunts to spill out the mystery about her smile.

As my other aunt says,”Back in those days, we had our own specific thaals(plates) for dinner.Didi (my eldest aunt) had golden(not really gold) thaal which she never shared with us.But one night while serving dinner she says to us-“From today on you can have this thaal.” We were very happy to get to eat in that particular thaal. After dinner all of us went to sleep. Next day early morning, our mom woke us up and shouted at us. What really had happened was, Didi had eloped with her lover.That took all of us by surprise.One of the neighbour had warned mom earlier about her being in affair  but like us mom was pretty sure about her daughter and refused to believe the neighbours’ word.”

Hearing this we were super dooper surprised. It was hard for us to believe that my sojhi aunt would elope and too hard to believe my uber sojho uncle would be so brave to make their love story happen. Seeing them together makes me want to have their type of love. Hope I as well get some brave hearted man to swipe me off my feet and carry me away. Won’t it be romantic? 😛

Dharahara

After years and years of negligence, today I finally looked down at the concrete forest from the caged balcony of Dharahara. What really happened was, we were on the way to Khichapokhari and like any other day I made the same comment about Dharahara – “jum Dharahara chadau aja”.  Also i added another line – “if the ticket price is Fifty rupees, I will pay for you both.”

The big sign board where it was painted – “General ticket price Rs.50 only” made the F word come out of my mouth. There was no way they were going to let me go, and not make me pay for the tickets. So, we walked in the premise and I was surprised to see the beautiful garden (though the area was small); never had my poor mind imagined that within the core of all the hustles, loud ear numbing noises and parade of vehicles, there would be such a beautiful piece of serenity.

We marched inside the not-so-tall coiled steps of Dharahara, “Step number 1…. Stape no 188 …” “kripaya bhitta ma fohor nagaridinu hola” “kripaya paan, khaini yaha naphyalnu hola” these words were painted on the inner walls. It is a real tragedy to think how stupid and disconcerned visitors are that they have to be reminded not to do a simple task that they should feel ashamed on acting.

Pushing these concerns aside for a bit, let me tell you how I felt after I reached  the top of the world (NOT)… Ok! how I felt when I reached the top of Dharahara. I knew what I was signing for when I agreed to climb, I was welcoming whole session full of nagging from my friend and my sister about how I am afraid of height. When I stepped on the balcony (I guess that is what it is called), I was literally glued to the walls, I didn’t let air pass through the gaps of my back and walls of Dharahara. It reminded me of a scene from “Mr.Bean”, where he struggles to jump down from the board at the top in swimming pool.

I looked through the barred cage, the city looked beautiful (even the clusters of buildings simply looked beautiful). Then my friend goes “kathmandu sahara… herda lagcha rahara” (a dialogue from movie LOOT). If you know me well, you must know how I am obsessive of taking pictures of everything and every moment. Well, I had to take pictures but I was scared would drop the phone. Lucky me, there were my two photographers, who happen to be my walking ATM as well( sorry guys :P).kj

I almost forgot to mention there is Shiva mandir at the top of Dharahara, about which I have no more information. Hopefully, I will find out more about that pretty soon. Actually, I have no real information on Dharahara itself as well except that it was built by Bhimsen Thapa and there were two Dharaharas standing side by side in Sundhara. I hope I got the info right.

Well, to sum it all up, I had quite a experience climbing Dharahara but  I wish I hadn’t climbed it yet cause it didn’t meet my expectation. When I used to look at the giant white cylinder, I always wondered how it would feel to reach at the top and how different would city look from above. And now that I have been there, I don’t feel so hyped.

you

I memorize our conversations so that I can replay it over and over again every other second I miss you, every fraction of seconds that I miss you. I got your number on speed dial so that I can live the moment when we use to talk endlessly about everything and nothing at the same time… even though we don’t talk anymore. I own no pictures of you to remind me of your face, also I need no proof to remind me that you exist. Truth be told, I cannot remember your face anymore, all I remember are parts of your face- smiling and glistening eyes, your almost flat nose (man, how you are jealous of my nose), your perfect teeth that you flaunt every time you laugh and scar that compliments you so well…I try but I fail to assemble them to make your face.

4 20 an 6

4 20 and 6! She has seen that many season changes and will be seeing many more. If you didn’t understand what I am talking about; “4 20 and 6” was the answer when I asked how old Aama was. It’s 4×20+6=86, for the ones who is still wondering. One of the Aama who was already 10 10 and 1, refused that she was the age she already was, 101! And she was so full of life and wonderful. Seeing the high spirit of hers was simply amazing.

Well, Our Rotaract Club of Himalayan Patan has this annual ritual of celebrating “Hamro Dashain” .It is a club project where we visit Aamas at old-age home. This year we went to Divine Service Home at Golfutar. There were fourteen lovely Aamas, beautiful souls. It is always a bliss to hear stories from them, my favourite is the one that begins with “nabbey saal ko bhuichalo jada… ma sorah barsa ko thiye, ma paanch barsa ko thiye, ma dash ko thiye…”

Being alone at old age, much worse being left alone is my nightmare but looking at them changes everything. Together they live as a family, like sisters sharing same childhood memories. It is unfortunate that they have to be without a family but hearing them with no complaints makes me happy. Hats off to the old-age homes that take care of all the Aamas and give them a new family even though I wish there were no need for a kind heart to think of setting up an old-age home.