It was unnecessary and foolish and definitely stupid! (yaya foolish and stupid direct to similar meaning but it was needed to use the words …you will know why)

I went back to melamchi with my friend. It had been so long(almost a month) I stayed back at ktm and busied by nothing and everything; so I decided to go back to village for few days. The almost three hours bus ride seemed like forever but I loved this ride…I got the window seat so I could see everything outside the window as if I was the first time I saw the scenes and be mesmerized. It never occurred to me while I was in grade -I don’t remember which that I started writing “hariyo baan Nepal ko dhan” and didn’t think how many trees there must be in Nepal to be thattttt rich (ofcourse just for the natural resources that is).At that time, I never even imagined the number of trees nor the tree itself…but I remember there was a black and white picture of forest in the beginning of the chapter. Now, all I see is green trees piercing the ground and erupting from every place.

I thought I was having holidays in ktm but the days made me tired and exhausted so much I wanted to cry. I just wanted to do nothing and wala! I got to do nothing at melamchi. I watched three movies, read “the fault in our stars” , took nap whenever I felt like taking one, didn’t bother getting up on my feet for all day. I was so happy to be lazy like that. The next day I decided to go back to my village early in the morning but I guess I was too much in holiday mood that my body took the liberty of sleeping extra few hours and woke up at 8. There was no way I was walking right away; so, I had my lunch ,observed the classes my friends were teaching and then gradually went to bus park to catch my ride.

Well, this is where me being crazy part start(actually it starts from the moment I decide to go back to my village without any purpose). So, I reached Sindhukhola at around 12:30pm … one hour uphill walk was waiting ahead of me. I opened my umbrella, forgot to take a deep breathe and began my stupid journey.Well, actually truth to be told I had purpose for this stupid walk. I wanted to be in the village and feel the village and just be there as me.you know how school feels different and free when you go school on holidays with no classes; if you know that feeling that was exactly what I had in my mind. I simply just wanted to be there.

The hot sun must have in its jolly mood that it was throwing some extra hotness.I reached halfway when I wanted to just turn around and quit my idea of “just being in the village”. I looked at the hot sun and instead saw this beautiful clean stroke of blue in the sky and that made me smile. All the way was dipped in green colour…it was all pleasant except the stone road which was heated like hell.i know it sounds disgusting but only if one would collect all the sweat on the way and apply the method of evaporation, there would atleast be a bowl of salt or not. . After almost an hour, I reached the village…I felt like I was placed in some zombie zone with no one to be seen. The whole village was empty except the gai bhaisi bakhra and tall corn fields everywhere.

After few minutes I reached to one of my student’s home and rested there. There were few kids playing around; among them two little may be three year old kids just blew my mind.They were super cute, they wanted to come along with me so I said “jau ramro bhayera auu”.so this kid hurries herself to a tap and washes her face and comes back with “miss,lamro bhayo?” and then the other kid also runs saying “ma ni lamro bhayera auchu”. I asked them abcd… and here is what I get “A B C D thul dd…E F G H kacho pyaj…I J K L marya shyal…M N O P bajey ko topi… Q R S T palastic … U V W X Y Z khaireni ma gate. I was like “WOW!”.

I got to introduce myself to few of the parents and it was just great. On the way back I met few kids and just to see them smile was totally worth it. I just wanted to go hug each of them but I didn’t . On the way back one of the parent called me for tea (it was the first chiya with her or any one else in the village)The tea was supergood , I could tell it without even drinking cause it had all the oil floating,which means sudha dudh le banayeko chiya. I was jumping inside my heart like a kid but acting all grownup and miss from the outside.

Couple of days back I had seen Anup in my dream, I saw him and first thing I say was “asti timi lai sapana ma dekheko, kati saro dukha deko thiyou badmass bhayera.” He had really scared in my dream acting all rebel and turning bad. “sapana ma ho ni sachai ta hoina ni!”-he answered with that amazing wide smile of his which gives his face 3/4 wrinkles around his smile.

I met Sudha and asked her “kata jana lako?”. I heard “gadyaula tipna jana lako.” “K garna?”was my quick response and she said “bechna!”. “Huh???mall ma rakhna ?”I asked. “hoina”…after a quick thought I said “GO-L-VEDA? Eh eh golveda bhana na ta.” She replied “aghi nai maile tei ta bhaneko ni.”

Then I met deependra, rajaram(whom I failed to recognize with short hair) playing in the field. I was all in “Namaste”mode. Remember how zombies and vampires come out after sunset, just like that the silent village was starting to feel alive now. People were out of their hiding places and I could see whole bunch of villagers.

I climbed downhill with all the light memories, special as well as much needed to me.

“Gaun bata pure pure “chij” (not cheese) haru lyaidey” –that was what my fufu filled up my ear with two and half months ago when I first went to Melamchi to teach. “daal, gheu, bhatmas, maha…j j paincha ghar farkida liyera aijo” that was what she said but to her utter disappointment all that I brought back from village was “BananaS”. Well not just bananas but kilos and kilos of many bananas. I come back Ktm with kilos of bananas (they are so so good…it tickles your sweet tastebuds and makes it happy )…ah! they are not just bananas but the cheeni bananas (kati cute name they got :P)…It is pain in the air to carry those sweeties and travel back; it is thrice the trouble when you don’t get a seat to rest your air all the way but I just can’t help myself to carry them with me. No matter how much weight those cheeni bananas add up to my bag, I got the obsessive disorder to just snuggle them in my bag every chance I get back. The one you get in Ktm are no match to the chinis; if your favourite fruit is banana ,you got to try these chini bananas.Trust me! You will just looooooooove the cheenis.

I was surrounded by gigantic hills, it felt like I was living inside an enormous crown (like in Alice in the wonderland but only this crown was made of green hills and not gold and rubies)…same hills that I have been staring since I was a little kid but the only difference was… the colour of the hills; taadha (dherai taada )bata herda it looks like somebody roughly painted it in muddy shade of blue but now that I actually(well not actually :P) can count the trees in those hills, the hills look clean green like a farmer planted all those trees taking his own sweet time and care. To tell you the truth it took me quite sometime to really see that those hills were clean green and not overwhelming green. Two months ago if you had said “GO GREEN” right in my face I would have seriously punched you in your face; now you might get the idea of how much did I repel the color green. But now I miss that shade of green when I am back in ktm for holidays, that surprises me big time.

I joined the movement of Teach For Nepal cause I believed in every word it had printed in that small square white pamphlet explaining what TFN was all about. I felt like “Yes! I was born to be a part of this” (this feeling !!! I tell you is so easy to feel but pretty doubtful when you actually live it). I was excited to be a fellow at Teach For Nepal. Six weeks of training at TFN house! I wouldn’t know how to explain or even express what it was. It was a home for me- a place and people I adored.

Two years as a teacher in government school in a VILLAGE was what I had signed up for but the first thing I did when I reached village was that I complained the place was a village- “yo ta gaun jasto cha” was what came out of my mouth. The still silence of the place gagged me and literally I felt like I was drowning in the air.I wondered how people lived all their life here and not want to get away…I had so many questions and complains about the village. I had this wish of seeing a village once in my life but now that I was actually living in one, I remembered “careful what you wish for.” I waited for things to get better , cause I was told things would be better after 2/3 months and I was waiting for those months to pass by .

I stayed for a week and rushed back ktm to breathe the dusted air cause I missed the grey air of ktm. The hustle and bustle of the busy streets were like beethoveen’s symphony to me. Then I went back to village again collecting all the supplies I needed. Now that I knew I could go back ktm anytime I started to feel at ease and then started to adapt my new life there. Soon, I felt the chisoo and mitho hawaa of the village. I started to smile and talking to people at school. My students made me smile, made me proud, made me angry, made me sad but most important they made me see hope. I still am not used to hear the word “miss” after my name. When they call me “Nija miss” i am like “ah, that sounds awful” (I don’t say it out loud I just say it in my head)…but I like how they call out “eh miss!”.

I teach grade 7 to 10 and it is great but I love the lower grade kids so much more :P. Now and then when I get off periods I sneak into their classrooms when I see no teachers there. Few days back one of the fifth grader calls me “Addhi miss” and I ask him why do you call me that. “Tapai adha period padhaunu huncha tyo pani adha student lai matra, tei bhayera tapai adha miss”. I walk away from him and then smile to myself happily. I have leisure time during last hours in school so I spend time with the kids left in class…as most of them go home early when there is no teacher for last periods. These kids amaze me by singing songs I’ ve never heard and telling poems that would blow you off by surprise.Ah, i got another name as well “thuti miss” just because i have short hair”.

I begin my day with a great class and then I enter another class and have the worst class ever. Some days a kid would make you smile and the other day the same kid would disappoint you so much it hurts your heart so much you struggle to draw in the tears.I stand in front of the class and be their teacher, they look at me with those amazing innocent but mischievous eyes that don’t judge me but believe in me, in every word that i speak.Every now and then the most talkative kid shouts out “Halla nagar bhaneko…miss risayera bahira januhuncha ailey” just to remind himself to be quite in class. I think I know these young souls but there is so much i need to explore…they are just leaving me tiny faint hints for me to reveal their heart.

My achievement till now- they look into my eyes and then they smile…

Almost two months and still a name would not appear in my mind when I would see pretty faces of my students( there is a reason for being specific with pretty faces…). I was really ashamed of myself for not being able to memorize dozen of names of my Grade ten students and then match them with their pretty faces whenever required. I admit it is my fault that I still didn’t know their names but I am not ready to take all the blame; the students with pretty faces are to take small fraction it. Well, actually its not that I am too lazy and too arrogant not to know the students’ name; I have asked couple of times and tried to remember them but the problem is the name itself. Well matter of fact, there are two possible reason why my brain is dis functioning; first the name changing trend and then the letter “S” which apparently everyone has faith on that their name has to start with “S”. Let me begin with the letter “S” … I ,oneday complained to one of my kids and said “etikai ta naam yaad garna garo huncha jhan timi haru sabai jana ko naam “s” bata aucha…kasko naam k ho thaha hunna”. She was smiling at my comment (also her name begins with “s” ). Then one of the junior student who was walking with me solves the mystery “ yiini haru sab jana le padhney padhney sathi haru ko name j bata aucha tei bata naam rakhchan ani SLC ma sangai huncha”. I was like “WHHHHAAATTT???  And WOOOOOOWWW!!!” all at same time. In my mind I was like “God you guys are genius.Is that the real reason or just a coincidence”.

After few days of not hard work I memorized all the “S” names  but I got mixed up with the pretty faces :P. And just when I thought I was doing ok with my kids and the names then I found out I had to make some extra spaces for their real names as well cause I only got perplexed faces when I used their “S” names to others, everyone knew them by their non-“S” names.

I don’t know what the real reason for the name changing and letter following  system but this incident so fascinated me that I wanted to share it.

(i have 14 pretty girls in my class and i guess 10 of them have names starting with their lucky letter “s”… and yes! surprisingly the topper’s name starts with “S” as well :P)